Shut up, please
by Roxeant
Summary: Enough is enough! How is a sixteen year old boy supposed to get his homework done if his two best friends (who happen to be head over heels for each other) keep bickering? Harry decides to take things into his own hands. . . HRW


**Shut Up, Please**

**By: Roxeant**

OO For the first time ever, Roxeant has written something other than Teen Titans! (If you don't count her Redwall Fic and her DP fic. . .) She's decided to bring you a Harry Potter one-shot! Everyone give a 'wh00t' for the brave girl that left the Teen Titans section of fanfiction!

So, here, I give to you my first ever Harry Potter one-shot (there will be others in, like, two seconds. I just have to upload them. I've been writing them for a while, and have only now gotten the courage to post them.) It's different than most of my writing, 'cause it's in present tense, first person. If I do writefirst person, it's usually past tense. But, this one's a bit weird. Just like Guardian Angel, if you've read my TT fics.

It is, of course, Ron/Hermione, so if you lot don't like the pairing, leave. It's as simple as that. We both win. You don't read a fic that would scar you for life (yeah right), and I don't get flamed.

By the way, JK Rowling owns Harry and his friends. And the whole HP universe. And a whole bunch of other stuff that I want. Is it possible to love and hate someone so much at the same time? Oh well, kudos to JK.

* * *

Sometimes, I'm not sure if friends are worth the trouble, especially if said friends spend all of their time bickering with each other.

I've put up with Ron and Hermione for six years, but I think that I've just about had it. Speak of the devils, they've just walked in to the common room. They're arguing. Why am I not surprised? And why couldn't they wait until AFTER I'd finished my potions essay to interrupt me?

They've been arguing more and more lately. Once, I heard them chewing each other out over cauldron building materials or something, I think. It's pathetic, really.

Even though they argue a lot about random things, many of the arguments are about three main topics: Viktor Krum, House Elf Liberation, and Personality Flaws. Ron, according to Hermione, is a lazy bum and not doing his homework or working to his full potential, not to mention being an insensitive git (in nicer language). Hermione, according to Ron, is a bossy, controlling, know-it-all (in worse terms).

Here they go again.

"I told you, it's no business of yours if I'm writing to Victor or not!"

"It is too! I'm your friend, and I don't want you writing to 'Dear Vicky' anymore. He's. . ."

I'm not sure exactly what 'Dear Vicky' is, because I'm too busy trying to tune them both out. Have to ignore them. . .

Oh, that fire looks pretty. . . And this armchair is comfortable. Leave it to Ron and 'Mione to spoil the peacefulness of the Common Room. Then again, the potions essay on my lap isn't helping either.

Great. I can hear them again. Shouldn't have started thinking about them.

"Ron, you are such an insensitive. . ."

I don't really know what Ron is either. I've stopped listening. I really need to find a way to get those two to stop going at each other like a cat and a dog.

What makes it worse is that I know how much they fancy each other. They're head-over-heels. Why this causes them to fight is beyond me. I thought that people who loved each other were all sweet and stuff. . . but they've just gotten worse!

After six years of studying the two lovebirds, I've decided that it's probably sexual tension. (XDDDDDDD SilverPhoenix parodies, anyone? I give her full credit for that phrase.)

I swear, if those two don't stop it soon, I think I'll go mad. No, not think. Know. Argh. Here they go again.

"You've got no right to tell me what I can and cannot do, Ronald Weasley!"

"I have so! You're my friend, and I'm just trying to protect you. . ."

"From what?"

Hermione's got a point, actually. Krum's not a bad chap, and Hermione's told me (and Ron, he just doesn't want to listen,) that she doesn't fancy him. They're just friends. Ron doesn't believe her.

What a git. It's painfully obvious that he's jealous. How can Hermione be so thick? Doesn't she realize why he's harping on her to stop writing to him?

"Hermione, I can't stand you sometimes!"

"Why do you put up with me then? No one said that we had to be friends. . ."

Alright, that's it. I'm not taking any more of this!

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!"

"Shut up, _please_, Harry," Hermione shoots back. Now I'm even angrier.

"Damn it! Why don't you two just admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"Admit that you're head over heels for each other, you idiots! Hermione, admit that you think it's somewhat cute that Ron's so protective. Ron, admit that you want to snog Hermione senseless. ADMIT THAT YOU'RE BOTH IN LOVE, DAMN IT, OR DO I HAVE TO HEX YOU IN TO OBLIVIAN TO GET SOME PEACE AROUND HERE?"

They both stared.

"Alright, then," Hermione says coolly. "I do like you, Ron."

Ron nods. "Yeah. I like you too."

"Fine."

"Fine. . . but I still don't want you writing to him, you know."

"Ronald Weasley!"

Wait a second. They've just admitted that they fancy each other. And they're still arguing?

"Er. . . aren't you two supposed to go snog somewhere since you've just admitted your feelings? Or get all emotional? Or run off in tears or something? Or. . . anything? Can't you two stop yelling at each other?"

They stared at me blankly. "So. . . you're not going to stop arguing? Even now?" I whine.

"Nope," they say together.

I throw my potions essay into the fire. No use working on it now. Hermione and Ron will keep the whole of Gryffindor Tower up tonight with their bickering.

I've probably made things worse, actually. They'll probably fight even more now that they've admitted they fancy each other. And I'll have to put up with them gushing about each other when they aren't fighting, I'll have to comfort them when they are fighting, and I certainly don't want to catch them snogging or anything.

Great, now I feel sick.

Why did I hook those two up, anyway?

Ah well. . . what are friends for? Hermione and Ron will be happy (actually, I don't think they'd feel satisfied unless they had a good brawl once in a while). And, I guess they're worth it.

Yeah, really worth it. I'm lucky to have such great mates, even if they do try to murder each other once in a while.

Now, if only I could find a way to get Hermione to let me take a peek at her potions essay tomorrow. . .


End file.
